Stress is information, not identity

Stress is a powerful signal something is out of balance.

It is a common mistake that people see stress signals and the resulting behaviours as the identity of who they (or others) are.

Stress is often spoken about as if it defines us: "I'm stressed.", "I'm overwhelmed.", "I'm not coping."

While these experiences are real, they are not who we are, but what we are experiencing.

Stress is information. It is a signal that something in our environment, workload, relationships, expectations or internal world requires attention.

When we mistake stress for identity, we can begin to see ourselves through the lens of our pressure rather than our depth and potential.  This is often the case in viewing others also.

Often unmanaged stress spills onto those around us, causing them stress, this requires both parties to identify and manage their own parts in the stressful dynamic that may be occurring and each take action to self-regulate.

Stress tells the story about your circumstances, not your character

Like emotions, stress is data. It tells us something is happening, but it does not tell us who we are.

In the workplace, stress can signal:

• Competing priorities

• Unclear expectations

• Insufficient resources

• Unresolved conflict

• Excessive workload

• Lack of recovery and rest

• A mismatch between demands and capacity

• Lack of a learning ecosystem in place

• Cultural disparity

Note: This is not an exhaustive list, there are many more reasons that may be signaled. These areas also align with psychological hazards in the workplace.

Many people move from:

"I am experiencing stress."

to

"I am stressed."

This subtle shift can have profound consequences.

"I am" becomes an internal narrative of beliefs and thoughts that speak to our perspective >then our feelings >and on to our behaviour, becoming perceived as our identity. A temporary experience becomes a fixed narrative that we (and others) begin to associate, as who we are as a person.

Emotionally intelligent leaders understand that stress is neither weakness nor failure. It is feedback. It provides an opportunity to pause, reflect and ask open-ended questions about what is happening and what support may be needed.

Without awareness:

Stress → Reaction → Self-judgement → Reinforced narrative → Perspective of self-adapts negatively (reinforcing the cycle to begin again, compounding the stress)

With awareness:

Stress → Response → Reflection → Insight → Perspective of self remains → Action taken to alleviate stress

Simply "thinking positively” does not make stress go away and can be the catalyst that teaches a person to ignore their feelings or somatic responses.

Pausing for a break, having a coffee, hugging a loved one or pet, can all assist in the moment to break a stress cycle however, if the stress quickly comes back or occurs in some type of pattern (e.g. every morning, arriving or leaving work), then this is a signal to pause and recognise:

1. The cause of the stress must be identified and addressed.

2. Steps must be taken to alleviate the stress (short term and long term)

3. The stress cycle must be closed (in the now and in the future)

4. Reflection about whether the stressor is avoidable or managed differently must be had, to ensure the stress does not become an ongoing health impact.

The reason responding rather than reacting to stress is important, is to be able to identify the information contained within the stress, enabling your nervous system to support your brain and body to identify potential resolution pathways.

Stress may be signaling some of these challenges:

• a need for boundaries -check your own first

• a need for support - self-support or from your colleagues

• a need for recovery - time taken to pause, understand and change approach and close the stress cycle

• a need for learning - new skills, knowledge or practices

• a need to clear the air or align values through a difficult conversation

• a need to re-evaluate expectations

• a need to put daily, weekly and ongoing strategies in place to manage and relieve your stress

In healthy workplaces, stress is not treated as a personal flaw to hide. It is recognised as valuable information (data) that can help individuals and teams make better decisions about wellbeing, performance and sustainable practices and programs.

A sustainable workplace does not eliminate stress; elimination is not realistic. It develops the capability to recognise it, understand it and respond to it effectively.

🍃 Stress is a signal, not a definition of who you are

🍃Stress signals are as individual as people are, learn what your signals are

🍃 Information creates insight when it is explored, rather than avoided

🍃 Leader’s influence whether stress is discussed openly or hidden silently

🍃How stress is managed in your service/workplace speaks to the workplace culture

🍃 Sustainable performance requires recovery as well as effort and emotional workload must be factored into a holistic workload approach

🍃 Awareness transforms stress from a burden into useful feedback, assisting in decompressing stress, identifying needs and managing self-regulation

A practical tip:

Take a moment to compare - "I am" or "I am experiencing"?

Identity statement

·         "I am stressed."

·         "I am overwhelmed."

·         "I am anxious."

Experience statement

·         "I am experiencing stress."

·         "I am feeling overwhelmed at the moment."

·         "I am noticing anxiety around this situation."

This may seem like semantics, but language shapes perception (including beliefs & thoughts). One describes a state; the other can become a self-concept, ask yourself: “am I talking about myself or my situation”?

Just as stress is as individual as people, so are the ways, resources and supports required to manage stress.

Stress has direct links to health and wellbeing challenges.

Should you find yourself experiencing stress signals regularly such as:

• Regular headaches

• Blood pressure challenges

• Unusual weight gain or loss

• Behavioural changes

• Substance abuse

• Lack of energy or motivation

• Relationship volatility where there has been none

• Many other signals, relevant to each individual and situation.

  
  

  - Please seek professional assistance as soon as you can and be open to exploring the aspects of your stress that you can resolve.

  Identify the difference between what is your responsibility and the responsibility of your workplace to resolve, what regular support mechanisms you need to navigate a path back to your wellbeing and who your support network will be, to assist you.

Reflections to ponder:

⭕ When stress appears, what information might it be trying to provide? (choose one specific incident)

⭕ Are you describing your experience, or defining yourself by it?

⭕ What action could you take this week if you treated stress as information rather than identity?

⭕Do you have regular practices that assist you in decompressing your stress? and who are your people that support you?

Please Note:

If you do not have people to support you, take some time to research your local community centers, libraries and professionals where you may find activities, interests and support services that can assist you to close your stress cycle and perhaps provide you the resources to grow beyond allowing those stresses to continue.

If you are feeling stressed now, please call lifeline (13 11 14 or text 0477 131 114), speak with a friend/family member and seek professional assistance.