A leadership style is not chosen, it's developed

Imitating a leadership style is fashionable and a plethora of books and research will give you the information needed to follow that style however, leading is individual and rather than it being a style to choose, it is a reflective practice that requires cultivation, your leadership style is not chosen it's developed.

Leadership isn't something we put on like a jacket. It isn't about deciding to be a servant leader on Monday, a transformational leader on Tuesday, or a distributed leader on Wednesday. Those theories describe leadership; they don't create it.

Genuine leadership grows from knowing yourself, your values, your fears, your habits, your relationships (including the power dynamics) and your impact on others.

As your self-awareness deepens, your leadership naturally becomes more consistent, more trustworthy, and more adaptive.

Leadership isn't a style you choose; it’s an ongoing cultivation of your leadership identity and a part of the person you grow into, as you lead and reflect.

Leadership books often encourage us to identify with a particular style, transformational, servant, authentic, situational, coaching, democratic, distributed, visionary and many others.

While these frameworks provide valuable insights, they are not identities to adopt. They are lenses to learn from.

The danger arises when leaders attempt to perform a style rather than develop the self who is leading.

Leadership is not something we put on. It is something we grow into.

Given that leading is individual for each person, following a specific style does not allow enough flexibility for the individual gaps and strengths we already hold. When we take a leadership path, that path will inform each of us what we need to grow, learn and develop, we need to be prepared to reflect consistently to cultivate the open mindedness to grow what needs to be grown, challenge what needs to be challenged and learn what needs to be learnt.

The most influential leaders rarely ask, "Which style should I use?"

Instead, they continually ask and reflect upon:

• Who am I becoming as a leader? 

• How do people experience my leadership? 

• What impact am I having on those around me? 

• How do I adapt while remaining authentic? 

• What do I avoid that I really need to work on?

Leadership develops through experience, reflection and relationships. It is shaped by successes, failures, feedback, challenge and learning.

As we develop greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence and relational capability, our leadership naturally becomes more adaptive because it is grounded in understanding rather than performance, leading requires trust in our own ability, rather than the execution of a set of leadership style related attributes.

This is why no single leadership style is sufficient. Different people, teams, situations and environments require different responses. A leader who rigidly adheres to one style may unintentionally overlook the needs of the people or context in front of and around them.

Rather than choosing a style, develop the capabilities that allow your leadership to respond wisely.

These capabilities may include:

• self-awareness

• emotional regulation

• curiosity

• humility

• reflective practice

• communication (inter and intra)

• empathy & compassion

• accountability

• responsibility

• sound judgement

• courage

• reciprocity

As these capabilities strengthen, leadership becomes more flexible and authentic. The style people experience is no longer something that has been consciously performed, it is the natural expression of a well-developed leader.

In many ways, leadership is less about finding yourself and more about continually refining yourself.

Your leadership is not defined by the model you quote or the theory you prefer. It is defined by the conversations you have, the relationships you build, the decisions you make under pressure and the environment you create for yourself and others to grow.

Ultimately, people are influenced less by the style you claim and more by the character, consistency and capability you demonstrate.

🍃 Leadership frameworks are guides, not identities or goals.

🍃 Self-awareness is the foundation of all sustainable leadership.

🍃 Capability creates adaptability.

🍃 Reflection assists in developing insight towards wisdom.

🍃 Leadership is revealed in practice, not performance. (Read this one again)

Leadership is not a style; it is your workplace practice and emotional intelligence display, that become your leadership identity, develop it wisely

Points to ponder: 

⭕ What leadership capabilities are you intentionally developing?

⭕ When under pressure, do you default to a preferred style or respond to what the situation and people genuinely need?

⭕ If people described your leadership today, would they describe a style, or the experience of working with you?